days of small things

So the internet is down and Oli was helping me figure it out.  I opened my laptop to check connectivity and the last page that I was on pulled up. It was a Wikipedia page on George Cowper. I had been looking up poems on prayer, as I try to organize my prayer life in a helpful way.  Oli saw it and said " George Cooper, hmm why does that name sound familiar?" Me: It's George COWper.  Oli: Oh, it's pronounced Cooper.  Of course it is. My resident theology/church history expert of course knew this.  facetopalm. And he was so gracious about it too.   So that led him, of course, to pull out one of his absolute favorite books: Bruce Shelley's Church History in plain language.  And 2 hours later I'm getting a history lesson on Christian Abolitionists (of which COOper was one) Harriet Beecher Stowe's family's connection, and a secret society.   He is like a kid in a candy store when it comes to this stuff. He loves it so much. As I lay on the bed watching,...

Tonight I was supposed to attend a special session at the Great Home School Convention called the Real Mom Tour! Three ladies, one of which wrote The Read Aloud family, a book that has been very significant in shaping our homeschool, were going to lead what I can only imagine would have been an amazingly wonderfully encouraging and informative session.  I really wanted to go!! I signed up to volunteer (and did so yesterday), so that we could enjoy the whole convention for freeee. But it started raining...pouring. Heavy gusts of wind, lightning, and thunder.  Oli suggested that I stay home.  And so I did.  I was very disappointed. But I know he was concerned about my safety, especially since I would be taking Simon with me.  I could have pouted, objected even, but instead the Lord gave me grace to submit. And not just submit, but with a good attitude. (Okay I struggled with that for a few minutes). But I shook myself out of it and moved on. Which is very new for ...

  I've been going on walks with Marla (Elizabeth & Simon) on Saturday mornings at SIX THIRTY!! for a few weeks now. It's been very nice.  Today as we were walking on the Main Street bridge, a lady stopped in front of me, took a deep breath while stretching her arms out to the side, and said "aahhh, isn't it a beautiful day?" "Yes, God's creation is beautiful." I replied.  At the mention of the name of the LORD, she recoiled. Her hands fell by her side, and she walked away.  The heavens declare the glory of God. The skies proclaim His work. Day after day they deliver their speech, night after night they make Him known.  (Thank you Poor Bishop Hooper, I didn't even have to look that up). For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God, or give thanks. Romans 1:21 *pictured: our view from the bridge

In the highly polarized racially tense culture of the day, if such a picture were circulated online, even amongst Christian circles, it would possibly cause a stir. Maybe people would think: I am a token.  Perhaps Amy and Mrs. Gray are safe for me to be around because they have atoned for their sin of whiteness.  Maybe we're all at a Lecrae concert.  Well.  I'm not. They haven't. And we're at my daughter's ballet recital.  The noise coming from all directions about the inherent division of blacks and whites falls deaf on these redeemed and reconciled ears.  First, a note about the differences:  Mrs. Gray: an older, almost empty nester, mom of 4  Amy: early 30s, working mom of 1 in utero Me: late twenties, stay at home mom of 5  I mention these things because unity and friendship, even in the church, is sometimes based on these superficial things. How many children do you have? Boy-Girl ratio? Ages of the children? What side of town do you liv...

Today is National French Fry Day. And it also happens to be Tuesday which means kids eat free with every adult entree at BurgerFi. Whoop Whoop. Win Win. Usually Oli is suggesting we eat out when he senses I'm tense or frustrated but today it was me! It was a much needed break from our evening routine. And I was still worn out from yesterday. Yesterday was a day that put on full display my need for Christ. I struggled so much with my duties as a wife and mom. But more so my attitude /countenance/behaviour.  I sometimes feel incredibly inadequate and insufficient for the day's tasks. I know this is where "but His grace is sufficient, in my weakness He is strong comes in." But it doesn't always feel good to experience. In fact, it's heart breaking. I am short and impatient and then immediately hate myself for it then fall into a downward spiral of despondency.  The mom I really am looks in the face of the mom I want myself to be and begs Jesus to conform me to th...

  GOD OF ALL GOOD, I bless thee for the means of grace;     teach me to see in them thy loving purposes       and the joy and strength of my soul. Thou hast prepared for me a feast;   and though I am unworthy to sit down as guest,   I wholly rest on the merits of Jesus,   and hide myself beneath his righteousness; When I hear his tender invitation   and see his wondrous grace, I cannot hesitate, but must come to thee in love. By thy Spirit enliven my faith rightly to discern   and spiritually to apprehend the Saviour. While I gaze upon the emblems of     my Saviour’s death,   may I ponder why he died, and hear him say,     ‘I gave my life to purchase yours,     presented myself an offering to expiate       your sin,     shed my blood to blot out your guilt,  ...

My dear Elizabeth, as lovely as the morning dew I thank the LORD in my remembrance of you Your tender heart and thoughtful, loving ways May wisdom grant you, from her right hand, length of days  Your gaiety, and serious admiration for your groom And a laugh that lightens every room  The whimsical clothes that you modestly wear The way you twirl your tresses as you incline an ear Young women, as they come to you for advice Will find that all you have to offer is Christ Secure in Him, you have nothing to hide But are an example of careful vulnerability and humility, not pride  Whether you're wrapping a gift or making a comforting stew You strive for excellence in all that you do Not for your name, but for Him who calls you His own May your discipline produce righteousness and peace when it is full grown Oh my sweet MyMy, the Lord has blessed your womb  And has made new and alive what was once like a tomb Rejoice! What a Saviour! Yes, lift up your fa...

Our sweet Elizabeth is seven years old!  What a mercy.   I am reminded of when Oli and I (unmarried) found out that our sin had caught up to us and would no longer be hidden, but made plain for all to see by my growing belly.  We sat in the parking lot. I was supposed to be on my way to Grad school. I was going to move back to Tallahassee. What was I to do? I had made an appointment with the "Women's health center", to kill our baby so that the plans I had for myself could continue, uninterrupted. Oli begged me no to do so. I listened. Not because of him, but because I knew that with my history of emotional turmoil, and suicide attempts ( having been Baker Acted just two years prior), that going through with an abortion would be my undoing.  For His glory, and my good, God convinced me not to take our baby's life. I cancelled the appointment. God used my history of depression to convince me to keep our first child. Amen.  I still remember the day we brought her ...

“ Let's go to the throne of the God of joy today & ask that He fills us up.  And when we run on empty, let's go to the cross- the foremost sign that our triune God wanted to share in His joy with us through Jesus' ultimate sacrifice. & When that runs out (we pray it doesn't), let's run to the empty tomb & witness that our joy is completed only in the Ressurection & vindication of out Lord Jesus.” My Oli's words (through text) as he tries to encourage me towards dependence on God and faithfulness during a difficult season of life for me.  How sweet to have a companion on this pilgrimage to the Celestial City who loves me so. Who seeks not to solve my problems or shower me with things just to make "feel better", but to encourage me towards faithfulness. To point me to our risen, victorious Intercessor Christ Jesus.  The throne is accessible to me. What a merciful privilege! A great High Priest whose joy it is to plead on my behalf.  The c...