Lessons in Narnia

The kids and I have been devouring the beloved Narnia series. We are now on book 3, the Horse and his Boy. I didn’t think we were going to read through them so quickly, and I’m reminded of what Mr. Cleland said when he gave us a stack of 10+ Happy Hollister books, “savour them.” But we just can’t help ourselves. They beg me to read chapter after chapter and I need very little convincing to do so myself.

 So here we are, well acquainted with our dear Aslan. And the host of other characters in Narnia and the surrounding countries. 

Enter, the sciatic pain. I’ve been struggling for the past four months with incredible leg and posterior pain. Could be bursitis. Could be herniated disc. Anne could be positioned in such a way that she is putting pressure on my spine. Could be that there is no real reason other than this is what the Lord has for me; this pregnancy, this trimester. Had an MRI done last week and still have no results after playing telephone with both the imaging place and my drs. Office. Also what the Lord has. Maybe I’m placing my hope in what the results are rather than in the One who is Lord over the results themselves.

 I am weary, discouraged. Miserable, at times. Broken. Pitiful. Overwhelmed. Angry. Confused. Lost. Helpless. Sad. Hurting. 

I don’t know what to do. Well I do, but I can’t seem to do it for more than a Sunday. Trust the Lord and seek to be faithful. When the pain sets in and there’s no sermon going and no voices from the Saints singing songs that lift me up, no hugs or words of encouragement from the body, no offering to give, no sacraments to receive, I sink. I revert back to my unfaithful thoughts and ways. 

Today in chapter 12, Shasta was walking after a long journey. Lost. Cold. Afraid. Lonely. Miserable. Starving. Barefoot. And there was Aslan, walking alongside him. He didn’t offer him a coat. Nor food. Not even shoes. Aslan simply said “tell me your sorrows.”

Shasta explained to Him how he never knew his dad and was treated poorly by the man who kept him and was chased by a lion twice and had a cat for a companion when he was in the dessert amongst ancient tombs for a night. Aslan listened and took responsibility for Shasta’s life, explaining to him that He was in fact the Lion who chased him twice as well as the Cat who kept him company in the dessert, amongst the tombs, protecting him from jackals. 

Aslan explained that He chased Shasta in order that he might run faster and reach his intended destination quickly. Other things, like why he scratched Aravis, He did not explain. 

Shasta wasn’t concerned with the details, it seems. It appears that he is comforted knowing that it was Aslan all along. Strangely, he never mentions his hunger and coldness nor bare feet in Aslan’s presence either. It appears he forgets about it all together and is content to be walking alongside him, feeling his breath on his skin, and basking in the light He naturally radiates. 

Would that Your presence satisfy me Oh Lord. And Your steadfast love bring me comfort and joy. That I would be content knowing that You are with me in this trial. Walking alongside me. Providing what I actually need and nothing else. Working out Your good, perfect, pleasing will in my life. 

Lord I believe, help my unbelief. 

*pictured: my view from the futon in our homeschool room.